


in the haze

by queerly_yours



Series: tumblr prompt fills [27]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison was a nogistune as well, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But she survived, F/F, She writes a letter to Lydia bc she can't talk about it yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 08:47:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3644064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerly_yours/pseuds/queerly_yours
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don’t know if this is weird or not, but I can’t talk about it. I try, but I feel like I’m choking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the haze

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 5 of the [30 Days of Writing Challenge](http://queerleighyours.tumblr.com/post/114519393799/blahblahwritingblah-hawkwardeye-using-the).

Lydia,

I don’t know if this is weird or not, but I can’t talk about it. I try, but I feel like I’m choking. I can’t tell if it’s the void doing this to me or if it’s just my inability to speak about it just yet. I’m just…I’m just so tired, Lydia. I’m so tired, and everything is wrong still. Sometimes I wake up gasping in the middle of the night, feeling like it’s still in me, like maybe it’s going to kill more people. Or if I’m being honest, like _I_ am going to kill more people. And I know what you’d say. “It wasn’t you, Ally.” But it feels like me. I remember doing all of those things, killing all those people, killing Aiden. It’s a bit like…like when you first wake up and you didn’t get much sleep and everything’s hazy, you know? But I still remember. Every single thing that it did while it was inside me.

I don’t know if I can be the person I was before all of it. I don’t know if I can be what the pack…what you need me to be.

Do you remember screaming my name? Do you? We heard you. Void laughed and taunted me. Inside my own mind. I was a prisoner, Lyds. And now, the prison isn’t my mind, but it’s this town. I can’t look at one person or one building or, hell, myself without seeing it. The killings. The havoc that void brought to our town.

That’s why I have to go. At least for a little while. My dad called some family that we have in Colorado. I’m going to stay with them. I’ll send you a letter once I get there, but please, don’t call me, ok? I can’t talk yet. I won’t. Maybe one day I’ll be ready to talk. Maybe one day I can be what you deserve.

But right now, I’m leaving.

I love you, Lyds.

Ally A


End file.
